|
Last updated: 07 February 2008
There are many
different types of domestic abuse, some you may not consider. Below
is a list of behaviours that are linked to domestic abuse. It is not
exhaustive bus gives an idea of the types of controlling behaviour.
|
Physical: |
Holding down,
slapping, smacking, pushing, pinching, kicking, thumping, hitting
with objects, breaking bones, burning, strangling, stabbing and murder |
|
Emotional: |
Name
calling, swearing at them constantly, criticising their appearance,
insulting them, telling lies about them, making them afraid by
looks, actions or gestures, mocking them in front of others and
criticising their abilities |
|
Psychological: |
Repeatedly
accusing them, ignoring them, withdrawing affection, telling them
that they will be found if they escape or leave, keeping them
costantly on edge, continuously breaking promises, telling them that
their reactions are irrational and harassing them after separation |
|
Sexual: |
Sexual name
calling, having sex whilst the person is asleep, refusing to
practise safe sex, making them have an abortion, forcing them to
watch pornography, indecent assault, forced oral sex, rape and
forcing them into prostitution |
|
Financial: |
Controlling
the money, not allowing them to work or making them work longer
hours, building up large debts, keeping information about
entitlements from the non-abusive person and forcing them to commit
acts of fraud |
|
Isolation: |
Not allowing
contact with family or friends, keeping them locked in the house or
a room in the house, accompanying them everywhere, restricting their
movements, isolating them from their community, taking away
important documents and papers and not allowing them to learn the
local language |
|
Exhaustion,
degradation and threats: |
Depriving
them of sleep, urinating on the other person, making them stand
naked for long periods, making them eat inedible food, threats to
commit suicide, threats to harm pets and threats to hurt their
partner or children |
|
Enforced
trivial demands: |
Ensuring
towels are placed a certain way, making the person polish the soles
of their shoes, finding endless trivial tasks to do and making them
put things back in an exact order |
|
Displays
of total power: |
Only
allowing them to speak at certain times, dictating when they can
sleep and for how long, forcing them to hurt themselves, only
allowing them to go to the toilet at certain times of the day and
making them repeatedly redo tasks they have just done |
|
Occasional
indulgences |
Buying gifts,
booking last minute holidays and taking them for a romantic meal.
These things are not abusive in themselves, but are abusive when the
intention of the abuser is to use good behaviour to minimise abusive
behaviour |
|
Distorted perspective |
Telling
them that no one would believe them, minimising the harm that is
caused, making the abused person accept that the behaviour is normal,
telling them that they only abuse them because they love them and making
them believe it is their fault |
|
Use of children |
Encouraging
the children to call the non-abusive parent names, threats to take
the children away, manipulating the children, telling the children
lies about the non-abusive parent and sexually abusing the children |
|